I cant really complain,I think that life is going well,considering ;am officially exclusively dating which I haven't done in like 3-4years(all of 1month and 21 days).I got a job in a company that people actually know(yippee for me),am not as broke as i was a few days ago.
But now that things are going relatively smoothly,I feel like am missing out on something(ironic is it not?) You see I am one of those people who either crave a high or a low,when life is moving along at a slow steady pace,then i feel like am loosing out on something really important.most of the time I end up doing something to upset the even keel of my life,I guess you could call it sabotaging myself.I finally know what it is apparently my personality type is tragic romantic.....well,I like the romantic bit of it.
Well I guess you could say that i had gotten used to mediocrity,you see I went through a period of depression and of course that comes with a whole lot of baggage,low self esteem being one of them.With low self esteem comes a lack of belief that you deserve anything good in your life.So when good things happen to,you end up messing it up and then you are back to being depressed.Its a nasty cycle.Hopefully this time i can learn to accept the good and change the bad for the better if i can.
